Good on paper.

I have been so busy at work that I only found time to watch the State of the Union tonight. I have to admit though I tried to listen to it that same Tuesday, but the White House official website was acting up and wouldn't play the video. They finally got it fixed and I got a chance to listen to some more peculiar ideas my government was trying to feed me and everyone else.
I honestly have to admit that all these ideas sound very promising. In theory. Indeed, it delivered various ideas as to how to better the current situation in the country and overseas. However, in reality it addressed an assortment of proposals that would change very little.
Lets start at the very beginning. The first issue addressed, if I remember correctly, was economy. I particularly liked the idea of balancing our budget without raising taxes. What makes me suspicious about it is the fact that the federal government proposes to take money away from themselves. Now, how willing would you be to part with your money for some illusive purpose? My guess is, some proposals will be signed into law but most likely only to check that bullet point on the official agenda. "Yes, we've made an attempt to fix it. Check mark. Too bad it is not nearly sufficient." Now, with earmarks. Why is it the feds become so concerned with this issue all of a sudden? Doesn't it sound like another lame effort to balance or at least cut the deficit? And where is the guarantee it will be done or will be done effectively? I must repeat once again, these ideas sound fairly decent, but what troubles me is that it could have been done years ago. These proposals did not arise from some unexpected source (such as a huge funds inflow from the lottery and whatnot). These issues existed fro years but no one seemed to care about those enough to fix them or at least bring to someone's attention. Why should I believe now, when I am told it will definitely be addressed? That it won't slip through the cracks once again and disregarded by all in a few months?
Education. Don't get me wrong, but as someone who got their education overseas, I believe that the public school system is failing miserably in education across the broad spectrum of disciplines. Unfortunately, there's is an unacceptably high number of children who struggle at school and little is done to help them deal with it. I think that schools set standards that are too low to be challenging enough for students to get them interested in staying in schools and completing their studies. I do believe that the No Child Left Behind act took some steps in improving the process but I wonder if the entire school system requires some sort of transformation in order to be effective. If we need to do something more than preserve what is accomplished and build on it. If we need an actual reform from the bottom up. Once again, the government proposes a great idea of improving education but fails to mention how.
Healthcare. A lot has been said about it in the address but I am only going to touch on one point - affordable health insurance. Let me point out just one thing, if a person was not able to afford to purchase a heath insurance plan on their own, the tax break will not do much to alleviate the financial burden of monthly payments. The cost will far outweigh the benefits. Plus, lets not forget about deductible that all those "great" basic health insurance plans come with. Those alone will cost more than the alleged tax benefit. I did like the initiative to impose a standard tax deduction for health insurance, but once again it does little to help those who do not get it through their jobs.
Immigration. Can we hear something other than "Let us have a serious, civil and conclusive debate" one more time? Didn't catch a single alternative to the current situation, so no commentary here.
Alternative fuel and energy. I have heard of the alternative sources of energy for about ten years now, but to date no significant steps have been taken to implement this research to life, and specifically to apply it to energy conservation. We have been using solar, wind and nuclear (and by the way, can someone teach him to pronounce the damn word? I heard they have linguists at the White House) power for years now, but have yet to apply it to reduce the gasoline usage in cars. It will take years to finish and implement this kind of a program, especially if you take into account the forever-expanding gasoline usage in this country.
War on terror. No matter how noble the intentions, I cannot believe the methods the protection against terrorism was implemented. Tapping the phones? Virtually unlimited power to authorities? How is it not a violation of privacy and intrusion in personal lives? In this case, the ends do not justify the means. Religious clashes existed since the beginning of times and, unfortunately, nothing can be done to exterminate them. Unfortunately, an excessive intervention only fuels the hatred more and leads to an increased opposition and uprising against the perceived oppressors. The government has achieved absolutely nothing in the past few years but losing the trust of its own citizens and turn the entire world against itself.
Iraq. I think we lost the purpose of this war some two years ago. Yes, the old regime was destroyed, but what did we offer instead? Complete economic and political chaos? Now-daily bombings and kidnappings? People scared to go to work and kids terrified to attend school? There's no way the government can leave now, in that case the entire world, including Americans will shout of another failure, as they have been for years now. The government is scrambling now to find alternative solutions to the problems, but unfortunately there are none. So sure, lets send some troops hoping it will work itself out. Well, let me know when it does.
AIDS. I think the only reason it was mentioned was to show any real progress and achievements that was done throughout the year. I am in no way trying to belittle what was done, but I do think that it is our responsibility to provide help to those who need it and there's nothing to be bragging about. If you are doing it, do it quietly since people who need it appreciate it either way. And please learn how to pronounce that basketball-player-guy's name for he definitely deserves it.
Now on the last thought, did you notice that everyone who is anyone was there? Did you notice at least four supreme justices? Did you notice the four generals? Did you notice all those other important people? I thought it was an address to the nation, but it seemed more like a how-off to me.
All those ideas and suggestions did little to show the real ways of changing the current situation. Most of them could've been implemented years ago but since they haven't, it makes me wonder if there's any guarantee it will be fixed now. Other than that, I heard little but a simple description of problems with no real solutions to them. Isn't the State of the Union supposed to deliver solutions in addition to facts? If so, the 2007 one failed miserably to do so.

And to cheer you up, here are a few funny videos, apparently recorded by people who have nothing better to do than sit their and pick to pieces otherwise serious situations. Enjoy, those are a real TOUCHDOWN (or as our foreigners say, "GOOOAAAL!").
The first one is what I call, Hungry, Dick? , and another one The Blink Count, and my personal favorite, Funny Speeches. Once again, enjoy.

Forty two years later...

... we are having another war protest in DC. A lot have changed in four decades but apparently the reasons for this demonstration have remained the same. Thousands of people rallied earlier today seeing this as an opportunity to show the Congress that the country have turned away from this conflict. On a side note, finally... Only took three years. It seems like people finally realized that the war was started under false pretenses, that the government deceived them in order to achieve their own ambition. Because of the way America invaded Iraq, the rest of the world now sees the country as a bully and a hypocrite. Many people are now drawing parallels between this war and the war in Vietnam. No one up high seem to see the atrocities that are happening on the ground every single day, turning a blind eye to bombings, killings and kidnappings. We did our best to destroy the country, and yet we show an amazing thoughtlessness to rebuilding what we've ruined. The difference between Iraq and Vietnam though is the fact that Americans at least knew who their enemy was in the latter and realized who they were up against. The current situation is much more cloudy and unclear. The country was led to the war without clear evidence of whatever was claimed to have been found. Troops are fighting against terrorism with someone never directly linked to any attacks. Sounds a bit weird to me.
What this conflict did, most importantly, is ruin the image of the US throughout the world. We are hated pretty much everywhere. If we were looked upon only five years ago, we are now laughed at. Where we were feared, we are now despised. Talk to a foreigner who hasn't lived here and ask him what he thinks of us. Chances are you will not hear anything pleasant. Ask him how we are presented in their TV news and newspapers. Have him tell you what his friends think of the current situation. Or better yet, travel overseas and talk to local people yourself. Strike up a conversation with a salesperson, a waiter or a cab driver and listen to what they tell you. I bet their response will be worlds different from the bullshit we are fed here every single day. It's kind of like getting a second opinion from a doctor. Only in this case their opinion is what shapes our image and political and economic future on the world arena. Even now, a mere three years after the beginning of the war, we are in a big political mess with other countries distancing themselves from us and forming unions of their own in order to create a strong enough opposition to the USA. In the economic sense, dollar weakened significantly over the past few years yielding to all major currencies over the period of three years. If you go back a few years, when Euro was first circulated, the USD was gaining against it and the future outlook was quite positive. Fast forward to today, and it lost over 32%, 25% against the Sterling. If that wasn't enough, 2006 also showed major declines of a dollar against emerging markets in addition to developed markets' currencies. If this trend continues (and all evidence suggests it will), foreign imports will become increasingly expensive, driving prices in local markets up. This doesn't strike me as a positive and promising future for our economy that has just recently crawled out from recession.
But I got a bit distracted here. I didn't plan to talk about economics or financial markets in the first place. My purpose was to bring attention to today's protest hoping it would influence the Congress to do something about it in addition to all the talk. Like freeze funds, for example... What do you think?

A forced one.

You know how you come home from work exhausted and decide to take a short nap before starting your weekend? As I was leaving work today I figured I'd do just that before taking full advantage of the cheap drinks at this place near my work. The first part of that sentence worked out just fine. I got home and crawled in bed right after dinner and pretty much passed out only to wake up around 11pm... sucks. By that time, I had ten missed calls on my cell and multiple texts from people wondering why I disappeared. Also, by that time I knew it was way too late for me to go anywhere. But the worst part wasn't staying home all evening. The worst thing is, it is already after 4am and I am still wide awake. I actually went back to bed around 2am and tried to fall asleep but gave up after twenty minutes and got up again. Now I am cranky and frustrated because I know I'll end up sleeping until noon again and won't have time to do anything.
I am also pissed because I cannot manage to find my gloves. I am freezing my ass off every time I step outside but all my effort to locate them have proved useless so far. I know they are somewhere in my room but have no clue as to where. I also know I kept them in my bookcase last winter (don't ask me why I chose a bookcase, it worked for me so let it go), but moved them somewhere else during my spring cleaning and now I have no idea where. I just spent the last hour searching for them all over my desk and drawers, but with no success.
The next thing smart me decided to do was to read some memorabilia that I had kept from high school. It is mostly some letters and notes from my classmates, fun stuff we did when we were bored in class, our wishes to all our teachers on our graduation, etc. Mostly just bits and pieces which still didn't stop me from sniffling through my reading. At the end I realized that if I don't want to break into full-blown tears, I need to stop going through that stuff and so I stashed it away.
Now I really want to go back home. Nothing pumps up one's desire to do anything like memories. I actually have an urge to book the ticket for this spring and get on with it. Unfortunately, my conscious tells me to wait till fall cause it will be the best time to go. For whatever reasons that are mostly in my head, I don't want to go until the summer is over since I don't feel that would be the right time to do so. I am dying to go back though and am definitely looking forward to the day I finally do so. No matter what people keep telling me, no matter what I know in my mind, all that doesn't change it.
I kind of feel like sleeping now and I don't want to keep talking about my future trip cause it's just making me more upset and I don't want to start choking up again or anything... Not literally, mentally... For whatever reasons.

An unforseen encounter.

It is either winter or me getting old, but lately I have not been as eager to go out as I have been only three months ago. I'll have to go with winter since the idea of getting old is somehow bugging the hell out of me. Nonetheless I decided I need to get out in order to unwind. I was mentally adding up the hours I've worked so far this week and came up with a number 35. By Wednesday! Do you see something wrong with this picture? Yeah, so do I.
I almost stayed home last night, but eventually dragged myself out despite the cold weather. And I am happy I did. It was definitely a time spent wisely, if that expression even applies to a night out. We got to this lounge a little after midnight and while my friend went MIA, I decided to light up. I do want to point out that I was slightly surprised I was the only one in the close vicinity, but I didn't pay much attention to it. This was then that my other friend popped out of nowhere yelling in my ear "Why are you smoking here?" Um, why not? "You are no longer allowed to smoke inside in DC." Oh shit. Totally forgot! I looked around and that's when it hit me - no one around me was smoking... I could see clearly... I could actually breath without feeling like I am constantly smoking... I saw the sign on the wall announcing it's indeed illegal to smoke inside and quoting the fine for not adhering to the law. Oops... I guess I'll have to take it outside. The nice thing was, the lounge actually set up a smoking area outside equipped with the heating lamp so it wasn't so bad having to be out after all. It just blows that from now on, every time I'd want to smoke I have to step outside. My friend actually suggested it may kick my smoking habit... I don't think so. Reduce at best.
All in all, I had fun and have no regrets about coming out. As I was about to leave, however, I saw my friend's ex. He noticed me too and made his way over to say Hi. Well, nothing wrong with that. Little did I know he was there with his other friend, this guy I went out with a few times but decided not to pursue him after all. Shit... Since he already saw me I had to go over there, so I did. I gave him a hug, greeted him, and then he tried to kiss me on the lips. Are you joking? No, seriously! I did my best to turn my face away from him and partially succeeded. So awkward... I told him my friend and I were just leaving and walked away from him. Which part of we are not together doesn't he understand? I guess I can write it off on him being quite drunk... anything to put this situation behind me.
I made it home by 2:45am which still left me almost 5 hours for sleep. Considering I don't get to bed until 2 am on a regular day, it wasn't so bad. Went out, had fun and still sacrificed only 45 minutes of my rest.
This morning, however, is when the real fun began. I woke up to a voice mail on my cell. I didn't have time to listen to it until I was actually driving to work. Here's what it said, "Hello, [my name], this is [the guy I ran into last night]. I just saw you tonight so I wanted to let you know this is my new number. The number is (XXX)XXX-XX-XX. When you get this message, if you can make a call or send me a text message, it would be great. Thank you and good night." Or something along those lines. Received at 3:19am. Did I hear it right? Did he just ask me to call him back? Did he just leave his number on my phone? Did he just call me at 4am? OK, I am definitely writing it off on him being drunk and having no responsibility for his actions.
On a bright side, that same night I received a text from this guy I met over the weekend inquiring what I was doing and asking to "give him a call tomorrow or something". We'll see how that goes. I am not keeping my hopes up though, but whatever happens, happens.
Oh, and I am still debating calling the guy from last night...

An interesting side note.

First, let me just say how happy I am it's finally snowing. And, yes, it ruined my plans for yesterday, but no, I don't care about it. I was so excited to look outside my window and see snowflakes falling from the sky, and ground slowly being covered up with white blanket and the sky being this white-blue bright color that it turns only when it is snowing. Do not get it confused with the grayish tones it takes when it's raining, winter sky has this cold bluish palette that even looking at from the warmth of your house makes you shiver. I always get nostalgic with first snow. It's reminiscent of some of the best times when my life was careless and free of drama.
Nevertheless, I was forced to spend an evening at home since the roads weren't cleaned yet which made driving anywhere nearly impossible. Instead, I stayed in bed all night watching TV. Actually, more like flipping channels. Until I came across "Mythbusters" on Discovery Channel. I first became interested in the show about a year ago when they re-enacted a Kennedy assassination in order to prove a "magic bullet" theory. After that I became a convert and watch it every chance I get. Long story short, this time they were testing an old myth that the pirate eye patch that is thought to cover an empty eye socket was in reality a method that allowed them to switch between day and night vision in an instant, which proved helpful during unexpected battles. Basically, here's a story: a human eye contains two types of photoreceptors - rods and cones. Cons are receptors that are sensitive to and allow us see colors. Rods, which are more numerous and highly sensitive, are not sensitive to color. They are also responsible for scotopic vision. However, this dark-adapted vision is only obtained after a considerable period of darkness, because the rod adaptation process is much slower than that of cones. So, apparently the pirates kept eye covered at all times in order to preserve this light sensitivity of rods and make enhance their night vision. That way, whenever they had to switch between a lit room and a dark deck of the ship (for example, during an unexpected attack) they could simply switch the patch to activate their night vision to be able to continue in the dark. The best thing in this entire story though, is that the show was actually able to prove this myth, or to be more exact, found it plausible. I was truly fascinated by the thought that the primitive pirates as we, modern society, often think of them, were able to come up with such an amazing observation and apply it in real life to their full advantage.
Just thought it was an interesting fact I wanted to share...

Life is a challenge...

I have always wondered how some people can be sycophantic and condescending at the same time. I have gotten myself in yet another fight with A., as if Thanksgiving wasn't enough. Although I wasn't the one arguing or attempting to. The funny thing is, he always starts with picking the fight and blowing it up to enormous proportions and afterwards claims it's my fault for fighting with him. I would have believed him if I didn't know better and were slightly more sensitive to his ploys. However, this time was different in a sense that he finally showed himself for who he really is. I have always suspected him to be this kind of person judging by the way he spoke of his friends, but have never had any proof hence did not jump to any conclusions. Gave him a benefit of a doubt. Until last night when he really showed his true colors. I have a feeling he sometimes intentionally stages some situations in order to bring up something that happened in the past or bring his point across. Just so you don't think it's just empty words, here are some examples. He always asks me go meet him giving me a two hour advance notice and when I tell him I already made plans with friends, he gets mad. Basically, he tells me to drop everything I am doing or have planned and run hang out with him, which infuriates me immediately. First, I would never cancel on someone in order to hang out with another person - worse comes to worse, I'll invite them over to hang out all together. Second, it puzzles me that he thinks I am incapable of having a good time without him. What pisses me off even more is that he feels the need to drop all those famous names and parties he goes to and how he gets VIP access to events thinking it impresses me. Now, I am able to get into a lot of places and either get a table or receive a VIP access yet you don't hear me bragging about it in every conversation to make sure everyone knows how special I am. Yet he thinks it's some sort of a gift to me that he can take me to some bar he can get in to while claiming no one else can. The thing is, he forgets that I myself go out quite a lot and am familiar with DC and its parties and events. Therefore, I know for sure you don't need to know anyone to get in to the most of the places he mentions. Well, sometimes you need to get on a guest list but it certainly doesn't require knowing anyone, just having an email subscription to several websites that are hosting those events. But trust me, it takes about five minutes to register and it is not called VIP. The boy gets the guest list confused with the real thing when all you need to do to skip the line and get inside is show up. The sad thing is, this character trait never surfaced in him when we were seeing each other, and only appeared when we resumed talking. I think he felt the need to impress me or whatnot in order to get me back. One thing he didn't realize though was that I did not see him as anything more than a friend, therefore expected something from me I wasn't about to give. What's funny though, I told him I only want to be friends when we started talking again, but I guess he chose to ignore it thinking I will change my mind. Big oops on his part. He has no one to blame but himself for expecting something more when I made it clear in the very beginning it wasn't going to happen.
The worst part, however, was when he tried to both complement and insult me. Did he really think it'll work? Or that it'll somehow make me feel bad? I felt like he had the need to belittle me in order to make himself appear in a better light or to feel better about himself. Did he really think that by doing so he would make me realize that all this time he was a gift in disguise and that I'd run to him hoping he'd take me back? Didn't quite work. However, it did make me furious to the point I told him to stop talking to me. Ever. Nothing makes me angry more than someone accusing me of things I supposedly didn't do (when I never promised anything in the first place) or insulting me thinking it'll make me change my mind... I was truly amazed at how a person can go from nice and sweet to plain nasty in under five minutes. I was even more surprised to learn he wanted to be with me and nearly hated me at the same time. Nice combination, huh? In any case, I am grateful I never agreed to meet him after we split and kept our conversations very casual. I don't even want to think what he would have said had I seen him after we split up.
The worst part of this entire experience? I will never get my earrings back now...
... Life is a challenge - meet it. Sounds easier than it actually is, doesn't it?

Playing a mediator.

I never thought that when I accepted my current position a month ago, I'd have to include a babysitter to my job description in addition to my daily responsibilities. Honestly, when I heard everyone on my teams are going to be guys, I was happy since I figured there won't be any drama so typical for girls. Today I found out just how wrong I was. I actually had to play an intermediary for the most part of the day in order to bring two sides of my team to some sort of agreement. The question that bothered me after all the mess was over, was why do guys take things so personally? Do they take any commentary about their professional performance that close to heart? It's not like they are being evaluated on their sexual talent; I could understand why that part can be hurtful. I always wondered why they can't separate professional and personal parts of their life and every little remark is being taken as a brutal attempt to sabotage their reputation or crush their male ego. But seriously, if you can't finish your work on time and accurately, then I will definitely bring it up. Not as a personal attack, but rather as a constructive criticism (don't you just love this word?). Actually let me rephrase myself - not "can't finish", rather "don't bother to finish" in a timely manner. In fact, this scenario is absolutely unacceptable from my standpoint. If you have the means and the capability to complete the work on time, then do so. Don't come up with lame excuses such as, "it's Friday and I have to leave early because I plan to go out later in the night". Grow up, realize that it's your job and not a high-school math project, and finish it up... I don't get it.
Anyhow, I planned to go out tonight, but with all this crap going on at work, I was stuck there until almost 9pm. So I guess I am canceling tonight. Which doesn't mean I won't go tomorrow. I just hope this work drama won't carry over to the next day... I have enough of crap going on in my personal life and I definitely don't need any more of it at work...
Surprisingly, I am no longer fuming, hence stopping here.

Digression.

I recently had a conversation with my now-former-senior about the job market. Since he has been actively searching for a new job recently, he had a lot to bring to the discussion. I had more of a scientific approach to the topic, he had applied his experience from the real life. Despite all the hearsay about current conditions and the rumors of impossibility of finding a decent job for an average college graduate with a Bachelor's degree, I find it not being as tough as the experts try to convince regular people. For example, in a mere two months of him searching for a job, he lined up four interviews and actually had one offer. If it were so hard to find a job, I doubt he would have had so many opportunities in such a short time to try out for various positions... The company I work for is notorious for its high turn-around. It could be explained by a several factors, but the most probable of all is the average age our department being 25 years old. Think about it: if you are 25 chances are, there is nothing tying you down to a specific location, people or a living arrangement. You are free to go and do whatever you please... Awesome time to live your life to the fullest... But back to the point, most people who leave our department do so because they found another job. Therefore, most of what I hear or read about the job market is most likely exaggerated. If one looked, it is possible to find a job suited for their preferences provided they themselves are competent and /or experienced.
Now don't get this confused with another argument that many make and I somewhat agree with. That being that due to a higher demand in the work force and the perks of being young and just out of school, some of the offers may not seem so fitting. By perks I imply a well known fact that young, just-out-of-school professionals can only count on an entry level position. Which will probably mean longer hours, higher work load and lower pay. But this is something anyone has to go through in order to climb a corporate ladder and become somewhat important and valuable. On the side note, if your parents own their own business you are to take over in the future, please disregard this entire rambling. Does not apply to such. However, for the vast majority of us, it is simply a fact of life that we have to deal with. The relief comes from realization that we only have to suffer for a year, two or three before reaching that state where we can actually demand something from the employer. Until then, however, we are not in the situation to bitch and complain. I had this argument with a friend of mine some time ago. He was accusing me of working long hours and therefore not being able to get out. I asked him if he knew of any twenty-something who worked normal hours during their first year on the job. No answer... Point made.
Anyhow, maybe it all is just a pep talk right before my busy season hits, who knows... However, once those long hours pay off in a few years, I would be really appreciative of all the hard work I put in in order to get wherever I might be at that point. Otherwise, why bother, right?

An unexpected discussion.

I have never thought of myself as a religious person. Moreover, being the sceptic I am, I think that it is not possible to have an absolute knowledge and even the question of existence of the higher power is unknowable by nature and we as people simply do not have enough evidence to make that judgement. I just cannot possibly comprehend that everything that is happening around the world is acceptable, or somehow predetermined, or (and this is even worse) is supposed to be happening.
Anyhow, as I said I have never considered myself religious. However, I got a call from a friend of mine a few hours ago. The moment I picked up the phone I knew it was bad news. He told me a few months ago his dad had cancer and that there is no chance of recovery. Even though he was feeling better the last time we spoke, I knew that the doctors were just postponing the inevitable. And this time he didn't have to tell me anything - just hearing the tone of his voice I realized that it happened. Apparently it happened last Friday night, and he could not call me until Saturday night due to his religious observations. All I could even blurt out was "I am so sorry" - I have no idea what to say in these situations. What can you possibly say to someone who just lost one of the closest people in their life? I couldn't think of anything, but I really don't think he expected me to say much. I think he just needed someone to listen and know they are being supportive and care... Even though I have been friends with this guy for over four years, I have never known him so upset. He tried telling me that he knew it was going to happen eventually and that he was prepared for it, but there is no way in the world you can possibly prepare yourself for news like this. No one is ever ready to say good bye to people they love... In an effort to find some comfort and possibly alleviate some pain I decided I have no other choice but to listen to what he says. To my surprise, instead of talking about his dad started a discussion about some basic religious matters, such as the idea of heaven and hell. Even though I never interrupted him during his speech believing that it will help him deal, I did not agree with anything he was saying. I personally do not believe in the concept itself. If you ever refer to the older religions such as Buddhism, Judaism, Islam or Hinduism you'd discover that none of them have such notion. As such, both Buddhists and Hindus believe in reincarnation and therefore, instead of going to hell, are reborn if they have led an unsatisfactory life. As a result, the thought itself becomes illogical. Even though Judaism has a belief in heaven, it is not a place where righteous go after they die, but rather a place where the higher power resides. There is also a popular Jewish notion that all souls go to one place until the final judgement. Similar idea exists in Islam as well which refers to heaven as an allegory, while stating that hell will only be created on that same Judgement Day. That is why I was perplexed when I learned about the same concept in Christianity presented in an entirely different light. While it states that everyone goes to hell unless they repent, it also equalizes normal people with worst offenders. So how does it work? You do whatever you want with your life - lie, kill, cheat, whatever, but the moment you ask for forgiveness on your death bed, that's it? Done deal? You are forgiven and you go to heaven like everyone else? I don't buy it. I still think that the idea itself was invented during the Dark Ages to keep people obedient before the Church...
I do want to believe that one second spent in heaven equals to all the happiness that has ever been felt by people on earth, but somehow I do not think that the fact that we study Bible or what we do at the end of our lives crosses out everything we've done before. Plus I do not believe that someone out there (assuming there is someone out there) thinks that the direction the world is moving in is honorable and moral.
Anyhow, I did not cut him short since I knew he needed someone to tell him what he needed to hear. I do think it made him feel better assuming you can even feel better in a situation like this.
When I hung up, I decided I want to write about it since I didn't get a chance to tell him what I believe in - I figured I still need to express it. However, when I started I caught myself going back to the only funeral I have even been to. For some reason I could not help but revisit that day over and over. I finally had to stop, and I am actually finishing this post on a different day I started it. It was over seven years ago, still it was one of the worst experiences of my life. I remember this long walk to the cemetery, nasty spring drizzling rain and no one seemed to care about it. I also remember the long procession following the coffin and random people stopping on the street and taking their hats off to pay their last respect. It was an early spring and the snow drifts we still visible on the sides of the street, but no one seemed to notice the cold, or the rain. I also remember when we got to the cemetery, and the priest was talking for a very long time in a language I couldn't understand. Then he started singing and I still could not decipher a single word. No one else made a speech and I do not even think it was part of a tradition to make speeches on funerals. I also distinctly remember some people crying, some barely able to contain their emotions, and others trying to appear strong and somewhat detached. I hated when one woman could not hold her feelings in any longer and she just collapsed on the wet ground, weeping. I hated it because I was doing my best not to cry at that point, but looking at her made it nearly unbearable. I was actually somewhat relieved when people started picking up some dirt and throwing it in the grave, apparently also a part of tradition. After that, everything was pretty much a blur and the next thing I clearly remember is the part when everyone got back to the house, and when I realized that it was finally over... It was a tremendous relief. I don't think there is anything else that can be just as depressing and harsh as this experience was... Nor do I ever want to repeat it.

Mercedes built in China?

I recently ran across one interesting article on CNN involving, gasp, China. It seems like every other article in the business sector now involves China. Don't get me wrong, I am genuinely amazed at their ability to grow with speed surpassing that of U.S. three times. Chinese economy recently outgrew that of Italy to become the sixth largest in the world and is, without a doubt, set to overtake U.K. and France in the near future. It's GDP (gross domestic product) grew, on average, 9.6% in the past decade, more than triple the pace of all developed countries. Measured in absolute values, its GDP yielding only that of U.S. Not bad for a country with a centrally planned economy up until less than a quarter century ago.
Now, any rational human being upon hearing all this would probably ask, "Well, what's in it for me?" I believe the word "globalization" rings a bell and if it doesn't, I suggest reading news at least occasionally. And even though I believe in the basic law of supply and demand and realize that in crease in the latter would bring the prices down thus increasing the purchasing power of consumers, I also realize its negative effects. In the wealthier country opening its borders to globalization, lower to middle income class is usually the one suffering the most. We already witnessed this trend in our own country, especially in the central and south-eastern states where thousands of people are currently unemployed or, even worse, underemployed. Underemployed means you are the only one suffering since the government still thinks you are working and supporting yourself and you family and usually ignores your outcries calling them groundless. As for poor countries, everything is not so peachy there as well. Take that same China. Despite its enormous economic growth, the country is still considered lower-middle income in per capita terms and still falls below international poverty lines. Moreover, income distribution within the country is rather surprisingly uneven, with coastal provinces achieving somewhat acceptable economic stability and interior regions still suffering from the harsh reality of poverty and stagnation. Economic development is also causing rapid deterioration in environment, and especially air pollution. Government officials are currently spending billions a year trying to clean up the air poisoned with smog and sulfur dioxide from coal-burning plants.
In addition, rapid growth in real estate have some investors rethink their strategy. If Chinese build more than they can actually utilize, the supply will far exceed demand meaning the owners will find it increasingly hard to rent out their properties and repay their debt. This, in turn, will leave a lot of foreign investors exposed with more real estate loans turning bad. Even though current outlook remains positive mainly due to a rise in real estate prices themselves, investors have to be on guard more so than with their other foreign ventures and be ready to act fast should something happen.
Anyhow, I am so off the point here. Well, I am not off the point per se, but I definitely have to narrow it down. Back to the article. According to CNN, Daimler Chrysler have recently signed a deal with China's Chery Automobiles for the latter to build small cars to be sold worldwide. Even though Chery markets its own brands of cars, these new cars will be sold as a Chrysler Group brand. The size and financial terms of the agreement are still unknown pending the approval of Daimler's supervisory board...
And now back to my seemingly unrelated tirade in the first paragraph. I think it is fairly safe to say that with things progressing as they are now, within the next ten years China can wipe out the lower end of the U.S. markets. By letting them into WTO, U.S. essentially gave them free access to its market. On their side, though, they maintain high tariffs on automobiles, they require U.S. automakers to make their parts their and to transfer technology. Naturally, they teach their local companies how to make cars. In addition, we are being high strung by undervalued Chinese currency. Doesn't it all seem a bit excessive? At what point do we have to ask ourselves if benefits outweigh the costs? And whether it is worth continuing it or, to be more exact, continuing it at the same pace as the last decade and a half?
While free markets certainly seems like an attractive perspective in economic theory, the reality has already bitten both sides in the ass once they experienced its negative effects.

Back to work.

I was so dreading going to work this morning, and as it turns out, for good reasons. I've been only gone for one day (well, one working day since I don't count holidays. And seriously, what idiot would keep the office open yesterday if everyone is off because of the mourning for President Ford), but I swear it felt like ages. Only going through my mailbox took me almost an hour. I never would have thought I receive so many emails in one day. And this is during our downtime. I guess you really never pay attention to things until you see the bigger picture.
Anyhow, I had so much stuff to do but did not get to it until after lunch. First, I had to do some manual labor cleaning out a desk for a new associate. Damn, these people keep a lot of papers and old documents in their desks. I swear, when I leave the firm I'll clean out my desk so that no one can make fun of me like we did today. Then I had about fifteen minutes to have lunch before my training and thankfully we had sandwiches in the kitchen so I just rummaged that.
And the most important part - the new kids are staring today and we have to train them. I met my kid before I left and he seemed nice and I think he looks smart. Hopefully. Because I don't want to deal with another disaster of a thought process and intellect.
Oh, and R. texted me this morning again and then called me after work. Dude, get the hint - I am ignoring you. If I wanted to get together I would have replied to the message he sent the other day. He left a voice message but I haven't listened to it yet. Not sure I even want to or care... I think it's time to move to someone else now. New. Now I just need to find that someone.

The New Year Celebration.

Oh wow... where do I begin? Amazing times!!!
Let me start by saying it was fucking awesome. All those worries I had about screwing up my holidays went out of the window the moment I stepped into the club. But I need to back up a bit and tell you how many freaking people there were in DC. By the time we got into the club it was already packed and I swear another three thousand people waiting outside, and I really think that the majority of them did not get into the club until after midnight and I am really thankful that we knew a few bouncers there and were able to get in without waiting in line. And without having to pay I-don't-know-how-much to get into the club. Another observation I made? They definitely jacked up the prices and were charging more than ten dollars per drinks. What the hell? Not only they charged hundred something to get in, but also raised their prices. Huh, nice way to milk a New Year. But anyhow, I shouldn't be complaining here since I ended up having a blast. I can only wish they played this kind of music every time I am out. It was amazing! The funny thing is I had a lot to drink but did not feel the slightest buzz up until my last drink. Still, it was nothing like I would have felt had I had this amount of alcohol on a regular day. Maybe the explanation lies in the fact I was bouncing around like a damn yo-yo all night long. Now I kind of fear the pictures that my friend took... Probably looked like a crazy person. Too bad. I am sure the pictures will come out awesome.
Oh, and I totally forgot to mention me having to comfort my friend when we was having a meltdown. At a club. At 3am. On a New Year night. Yes, I know. The funniest thing is, I did not understand why she would cry over what had happened because any other person in her place would be happy and should be so lucky to have what she has. In any case, I had to spend five minutes telling her exactly what I mentioned above and reinforcing every word of it until she stopped crying. Good. I am starting my new year with helping someone. Hopefully it'll reflect on my karma. Because it's been shitty lately.
We hung out for a little bit after we left the place since no one wanted to drive home right away for obvious reasons. Cops, anyone? At least I had some time to sort through all those text messages I received wishing me a Happy New Year and reply to all of them. Then I had to figure out who sent me the rest of the messages that I didn't have a name tied to and decide if I wanted to reply to them. And I did. After all, the person meant well when sending me the message, so I have to reciprocate, right? And then I did something unthinkable. I texted the guy I was involved with a long time ago wishing him Happy Holidays. Which would have been totally fine had I not added "babe" at the end. I genuinely hoped he'd never replied since we didn't part on the best terms, but he did indeed. When I saw a text from him yesterday, I couldn't bring myself to read it for about two hours not willing to face whatever it was saying. Was he still angry? Pissed? Disappointed? Did not care one way or another? Finally, I decided I want to know no matter what was there. Well, it said, "You too my love". Are you kidding? I would say he's mocking me, but I never got an impression he was like that when I was with him, but then again, I never pissed him off as much as I did the last time we spoke. So I guess it's another mystery for me...
Oh, and my friend is coming back from overseas today, and my other one from out of state tomorrow, and I can't wait to drag them both out. Tomorrow night.