Hate.

Today is the day you left me...

I hate you for leaving me when I needed you most. I hate you for not being there for me when I wanted to be with someone I love and understand. I hate you for not giving me any warning before you left me. I hate you for losing my best friend and the only person I could ever trust. I hate that I am still thinking about you every day even though it's been years since you've left. I hate that you are not there when I am hurting or need to talk to someone who can simply listen and nod. No advice, just listen and understand, like before. I hate you for ruining my faith in people and that up to this point, I haven't fully regained that. And I don't know if I ever will. I hate you for being my best friend and the person I loved the most and then suddenly disappearing on me. I hate that you never gave me the chance to say good-bye. I hate you for ever telling me you loved me and never letting me express my feelings. I hate you for making explain to everyone what suddenly happened to you and where you went. I hate you for storming into my life but not staying long enough. I am grateful for those years I got to spend with you but I hate you because it didn't last as long as I wanted... I am at a loss as to what else to say... I wish I remembered more of our time together, but never in my life with you had I thought you'd leave so unexpectedly. I was not ready... I was shocked when it happened... i hope you had your reasons but I don't think I will ever find out what they were or understand them. I hope one day I see you again and that my questions will be answered. Until that day, I hate you...

I want to let you know that you created some of the best and the worst days in my life and I am reminded of it every single year. You have no idea how hard it is for me to write this but doing it makes me feel better even if only for a moment.
You are always in my mind and in my heart and in my best and dearest memories.

June 21, 19** - October 22 few years back...