Patience is a virtue.... that I lack.

I am annoyed with too many people right now. One would think that new year would bring joyous mood and desire for changes, but so far it's been going downhill for me. First and foremost, I am still mad at N. for not getting back to me on the 31st. She has been calling me ever since, but frankly, I don't want to talk to her yet. I feel like I need some time to recuperate from my trauma. Hypothetically, of course, but nevertheless. I am somewhat curious to hear her excuse though.
A. still keeps calling me as well. Not as often as before, but still. Thing is, there are really some mixed feelings that I have right now. I saw him again at his roommate's house party this weekend, and honestly, I couldn't wait to get away from there. It was pretty boring and uneventful and I sacrificed meeting my friend T. for this get-togetehr. But the last drop in the cup of my patience and open-mindedness in terms of this "relationship" and him in particular was when he was walking me to my car. Right before I left, we kissed. Not a bad kisser. After all it's a first kiss and I do believe that it takes time to get used to another person's technique. However, somewhere a minute into our kissing, I felt his hands moving lower and lower down my back, perhaps a little bit too low for my liking. Seriously, I am all for groping and grabbing when the moment is right, or when the mood strikes, but definitely when you are closer to the person than a second date. But not if you barely know the person. Well, unless you are about to sleep with them. Or if it's just a making out session in a dark corner of a bar. I mean, you get my point. It was way too early, and I was way not in the mood. And I do realize now, after few days, that it was probably him being drunk more than anything, but at that exact moment it really ticked me off. So here it is, my official reason for not wanting to see him again.
Next, as if previous wasn't enough, I am still trying to get past the slew of emails from S.'s friend... girlfriend... significant other... who cares who she was. Her and I went through several more email exchanges, but I think we have finally straightened things out. However, some of her words did make me think of S. slightly differently now. I mean, he did say the girl was crazy and unbalanced, but it always takes two people to ruin the relationship. And she didn't seem so in her emails (which is not a good indicator as it is, but still ). Besides, all girls that he ever talks about are, in his words, crazy. Well, either something is wrong with him that he picks same girls over and over, or there's something that he leaves unsaid. Because no matter how unlucky you are, you can't date five unstable people in a row. There is something that you are doing that makes them this way, or something that you are covering up about yourself. Not that it's any of my business, but it did make me look closer at him to try and figure out what he actually hides behind his facade.
But enough about other people... I am really tired at this point of dealing with unreliable or weird people and their behaviors. I have been working longer hours just so I can avoid having to talk to them or about them. The only outlet that doesn't object to my venting and whining seems to be R. Or this blog. Or A...
Which reminds me that his birthday is coming up and I have to start thinking about a present for him.