Scarred For Life.

I went to Barnes and Noble last night to read the book I started a week earlier. I was hoping to finish it that same day since I wasn't interested in buying it. It was a decent story, but nothing overly exciting that's worth buying. Instead, I decided to spend three or so Sunday evenings and read it in there.
I got there early and my favorite armchairs were all occupied with people. I decided to make myself comfortable on the floor and wait until someone leaves to get coffee so that I can claim their spot. After about fifteen minutes, I got this opportunity. So did another girl and a guy... everyone except this lady who took her time getting up. She was left without a seat. I thought she was going to wait a little longer, but instead she told the guy she'd been waiting forever (not true, twenty minutes tops according to my observations) for a seat. I think the guy realized who he is dealing with and gave up his seat.
Next thing I know, the lady, carrying the same smug expression, got a little too comfortable in her chair and as she was trying to slide deeper in it, I caught a glimpse of her nasty off-white granny panties... I swear I think my jaw hit the floor from all the horror I endured in those two seconds.
I knew right then and there that there are two people who would appreciate what just happened to me. So I texted my friends R. and M. telling them all about my experience.
R.: Take a picture so you can have a reminder for the rest of your life.
M.: You should stop checking out old women.
Me: Oh yes, that is who I usually go for.
M.: They are pretty nice.
Me: I told my friend about it and she suggested taking a picture.
M.: I agree, you should have.
My friends are perverts. Why am I even friends with them?