Scarred For Life.

I went to Barnes and Noble last night to read the book I started a week earlier. I was hoping to finish it that same day since I wasn't interested in buying it. It was a decent story, but nothing overly exciting that's worth buying. Instead, I decided to spend three or so Sunday evenings and read it in there.
I got there early and my favorite armchairs were all occupied with people. I decided to make myself comfortable on the floor and wait until someone leaves to get coffee so that I can claim their spot. After about fifteen minutes, I got this opportunity. So did another girl and a guy... everyone except this lady who took her time getting up. She was left without a seat. I thought she was going to wait a little longer, but instead she told the guy she'd been waiting forever (not true, twenty minutes tops according to my observations) for a seat. I think the guy realized who he is dealing with and gave up his seat.
Next thing I know, the lady, carrying the same smug expression, got a little too comfortable in her chair and as she was trying to slide deeper in it, I caught a glimpse of her nasty off-white granny panties... I swear I think my jaw hit the floor from all the horror I endured in those two seconds.
I knew right then and there that there are two people who would appreciate what just happened to me. So I texted my friends R. and M. telling them all about my experience.
R.: Take a picture so you can have a reminder for the rest of your life.
M.: You should stop checking out old women.
Me: Oh yes, that is who I usually go for.
M.: They are pretty nice.
Me: I told my friend about it and she suggested taking a picture.
M.: I agree, you should have.
My friends are perverts. Why am I even friends with them?

As Inconsiderate As You Can Possibly Get.

I think I am literally fuming now. Now, today was supposed to be a nice and easy day that was supposed to end with a co-worker's baby shower and my early departure from work. However, as I was getting ready for some cake, I got a message from my friend who's trying to set me up with his friend. Don't ask me why since I never asked for it and not once hinted I wanted to meet them.
Him: By the way, my friend is coming over Monday.
We were supposed to meet up Monday night to do some catching up.
Me: What friend?
Him: The one I was talking about.
Me: And your friend just agreed to meet up without ever seeing me?
Him: Agreed?
Me: So?
Him: Showed a picture I had.
... Please note that he tells me that after I specifically told him not to send my picture to anyone. Ever. Especially without my consent. Never, ever...
Me: What picture?
Him: Well you asked me if I needed a picture, so I just used the one you had up online.
Me: I never asked if you needed a picture because I never intended to send you one.
Him: I asked if you wanted me to use the picture you had up or send me one. You never responded. I don't see a problem unless you expect people to meet you blind.
... That's the problem, really. I never meant to send anything.
Him: What's the issue?
Me: The issue is I don't like when people do something after I specifically told them not to. I never responded which means I never agreed to it.
Him: I just sent your face and nothing retarded. And I asked you several times for the picture and you never responded. If it was an issue you would have said something, was my thought.
Me: I never responded because you weren't supposed to send one!
Him: Yea, that makes sense. Silence is translatable. Deed is done, so you can keep worrying about it or not.
Me: It is very annoying when you go ahead and do shit like that.
Him: Sorry if I broke some rule but we have never tried this and I have no pictures that would illicit that rule so I don't know how I am supposed to know not to share pictures I don't have.
...That's the thing though. I am wondering where he got the picture that he's supposedly doesn't have. He can't even keep up his own story straight.
Me: So exactly which picture did you send?
Him: I used the one in your profile.
Bullshit. My profile is private and there is no way he could get a picture from there. So there is another lie. In addition to the one claiming he thought I wanted to share my picture.
At this point, all I want to do is cancel the whole thing altogether...

Cables.

I swear one of these days I am going to break my neck with all the cables I have at work. Let's see, there is an Internet cable, a phone cable, a laptop cable, security lock, some other crap... I feel like my entire company's network is connected through my desk. And naturally, the day hasn't gone by that I haven't tripped on one of them. Today, I almost fell off my chair when the Internet cable got entangled in one of the wheels and got stuck, just as I was trying to roll it to the other side of my desk.
My co-worker heard me swear when I almost lost my balance and asked what was going on.
Her: You have too many of those under your desk. Call maintenance so they can come over and tape them.
Me: Yea, I guess...
Her: Or you can just wait till you trip and break something and sue the company.
Me: Yes this is such a great idea.
Her: Well, if you get a million in settlement, you won't have to work anymore.
Me: A million won't do it for me.
Her: True. But at least you will be able to work part time.
I think flu she just had altered her thinking process. Otherwise, how do you explain her coming up with these ideas...

Wild Berries.

My friend called me yesterday afternoon complaining of some minor stomach pains. Fast forward a few hours and the last I heard it turned into a major food poisoning. By this morning it still hadn't gone away. About which he felt the need to promptly inform me at 7:30 in the morning. Looking back, I am somewhat grateful to him for somewhat waking me up. If it weren't for his text, I would be significantly late for work. This way, it was only half an hour.
I sent him a text back mid-morning to see how things are going
Me: Feeling better?
Him: No. Now I have a better understanding of what death feels like.
Me: You liking that bed now?
Him: Yes, but I still feel sick. Maybe some junk food will help.
Me: Yes, you should stuff yourself with junk food so you can't even lie on your stomach. That way you'll be moaning about something else.
Turns out, he took my advise to heart because this is what I got a few minutes ago
Him: Junk food didn't help. I am aching all over.
Me: Did anyone else get food poisoning at the golf course?
Him: Not that I know of.
Me: What the hell did you eat? Did you go picking wild berries in the woods?
Him: Ugh...
I take it as a "No". I also guess he didn't really like my little joke.
The only other alternative I have is to offer to come over and rub his tummy.
You think he'll go for it?

Gay Town.

My friend is planning her birthday celebration for this weekend. As a result, I've been bombarded with a number of text messages asking me about certain places we may go to and trying to get some suggestions as to where to go (reminiscent of my other friend who thinks I have been to every single lounge in DC).
Today was no exception. I received another text asking me about this place called C*. Well, for starters, I haven't even heard of it which in itself is a huge surprise. Turns out, it opened up in place of D*. in Dupont.
Her: So how is this C*?
Me: I've never been to the renovated place so I wouldn't know. The old one was decent.
Her: Isn't it like a gay town over there?
Me: Well, the concentration is certainly higher, but there are still plenty of hot single guys there for you and me.
Her: Darn, then I should leave my boyfriend home.
Me: I like your thinking.
The girl catches up fast.

Suspicions.

I just got an email from the Fitness Center at work stating they would be closed starting next week until late October.
Granted, the reason they gave was to complete the renovations in the locker rooms and to replace the hardwood floors in the workout areas. However, I still wonder if it has anything to do with the recent market turmoil and cost cutting measures I keep hearing on every corner about. On the second thought, why do renovations and replacements if they are about to close it for good. I emailed A. and apparently she thinks they are closing it down. When I brought up my point about them doing some constructions there and their promise to open it up in October, she said, " I tend not to believe everything I read. Especially recently."
Yea, neither do I.
Lately.

Irate.

I've been following Wall Street Journal closely over the past several weeks amid the continuous collapses in the market. What annoys me the most (besides the abundance of recycled information), is how the authors refer to these mysterious "people familiar with the matter".
Why won't at least one of them come forward and name themselves? For all I know, it's a construction worker who overheard the conversation while sharing a cigarette with the bankers.

Debate/Yahoo Answers Answer-Off.

I was having a discussion with E. until 2a.m. last night. The hot question was the number of partners one had. Surprisingly, we managed to reach agreement (perhaps it was due to the late hour and our mutual desire to get to bed). However, the question continued to bug me all morning and in absence of other ideas, I decided to ask the community. Also known as Yahoo Answers. I find it to be mildly entertaining and marginally educational.
I decided to stick with the basics and asked how many sexual partners is too many, how many had one had, and was it too many and why.
My favorite answers without any particular order (with my comments in parenthesis). Just some information for thought...
- There is no such concept... I would have to sit down and think hard about how many and it's too early for that so ... a lot. (1p.m. is not too early, even for me)
- One, about three months after I met him. We have been together four years and are engaged. I am very happy I waited. (awesome, congratulations, send me an address and I will send a wedding card)
- Forty five or fifty. And I am still looking for my next one! I don't know if it's too many, but there were some that I would just as soon not remember. (alcohol does wonders)
- You should only have one. (as my friend pointed out, go back to Utah, you Mormon)
- Do you mean at once? (hands down the best answer)
- Too many people to sleep with would be more than one could fit on one hand. (took me a while to figure out exactly how many that is, on the second thought 1p.m. is too early)
- I've only slept with my fiance, and that was almost three years after we got together, and we're getting married next year... He saved himself too, and I can tell you it's way worth it to wait, I love it. (can't say it's way worth it if you have nothing to compare it to)
- I think three or four is too many. You don't know what the other people might have had and given them. One or two is okay. (ever heard of condoms)
- To me, more than ten people is kind of pushing it. However, as long as it is safe sex with condoms and all that, then really I don't see anything wrong with it. If someone wasn't being safe, then it would be worse. I have slept with two people in my life. But I'm also only nineteen, and I really don't think that's too many. I've had opportunities to sleep with more people and chose against it. (no, two is just fine for a nineteen year old)
- I always believed that it was special to wait until you are married to have sex, but everybody has a different opinion. (at least she acknowledges that others can have an opinion)
- Two is to many because you're only to have sex with your married partner. And you are not suppose to get divorced, so one is enough. (Utah is calling, they're missing someone)
- Let's just say I've had several, more than five. I don't really regret anyone, except for three. I was young and naive, and I should have waited until I was older. I'm engaged now, and really wish I didn't have some of those guys on my list... (weren't we all young and naive once)
- I don't really think that there is too many to sleep with. It's a normal thing people do. If you're able to do so, go ahead. As long as you're not married or in a relationship, I say go for it. I myself (since you asked) have slept with about thirty different people and on different occasions, within the last four years. Right now I am in a relationship with a kid on the way. So I am stopping for at least a while, if not for good. Have to see where this road leads. Well hope this helped. (how about the total number, not just in the last four years)
- I don't think that a certain number is too many. I think I slept with around eighteen people. I don't think I slept with too many because I don't regret any of them. I enjoyed myself with everyone (even if I can't remember his name). When I was younger I thought that if a girl slept with a certain number of guys then something is wrong - she must be a slut. Then I realized that thinking was childish because it doesn't matter how many people other people have slept with. It doesn't affect me in any way, so I got off my high horse. (there are some good points here)
- I haven't slept with anyone, and too many is three. I was about to say two but you never know what your man can do. He might turn to a bad and abusive guy, so people deserve a second chance. (what if both of them are bad and abusive)
- Six, since I lost my virginity a year ago. Now I am in a committed relationship, so I was happily forced to slow down. (one every two months... cheers)
- I've been with one guy, and that's my husband. I'm glad it's just been him. (again, cheers)
- Most women have had about a dozen partners before they're married. So, for women, twenty is pushing the envelope. The same with men, except most men have about half a dozen sexual partners before marriage. (I thought men were the sluts on this universe)
- In my opinion, a lot of outside information is needed to determine how many is "too many". For instance, if I heard from an eighteen year old that he/she has slept with ten people, I might think that is pushing it. However, if a fifty year old lifetime bachelor has slept with ten people, it's not a big deal. I think it would also depend on the situations in which the person was having sexual relations. For example, a twenty five year old single male could have many previous sexual partners. Whereas a twenty five year old male, who has been married for five years, may have considerably less. As long as you aren't uncomfortable with the number of sexual partners you have had, no one else should matter. I have only slept with two people. I don't think that is too many. Of course, I am only eighteen. Some people may consider it too many, but that is their business. Good luck! (ten for a life long bachelor... yes, sure)
- I'm at about seventeen and I feel like that's way too many. I regret a lot of them, mostly because with half of them I only slept with once. I wasn't a slut at all, I just didn't make the right decision all the time. But you live and you learn, and I'm engaged now and don't need to worry about it again. However, I've got a few friends that are close to a hundred and that's just sick. (yes, an eighteen year old with a hundred partners is disturbing... but a life long bachelor...)
- Does it matter, if it's safe? Then again, depending on who wants to know. It's a very strong possibility that one can forget the numbers and lose track. So, after much analysis and according to a jury's verdict, there isn't a designated number and it is solely based on the individual. (again, good point here)